Learning to love myself was the first mountain I ever had to climb in recovery. Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength—and the second is like it: to love our neighbor as ourselves. I thought I loved God. I thought I loved others. But I had never learned how to love me. And when I finally faced that truth, I realized I didn’t just “not love myself”—I despised myself.
When I was drunk and alone, I’d curse myself. I’d repeat the harsh words spoken over me by others—especially family. Emotional abuse, degradation, bullying, name‑calling… all of it became the internal script I lived by. I believed I was worthless, stupid, manipulative, selfish, unlovable. And because I believed it, I lived it.
So I kept God at arm’s length. I kept people at arm’s length. I feared abandonment, rejection, and judgment. I feared giving God my whole heart because I assumed He would eventually reject me too. Shame became the lens through which I saw myself, others, and God.
But recovery forced me to confront the lies. It forced me to ask: Who does God say I am? And in that painful, holy unraveling, I began to learn to love God with what little I had. I began to see myself through His eyes. And only then could I begin to love others with sincerity, depth, and courage.
Anchor verse – Hebrews 1:3 – “He is the reflection of God’s glory and the exact imprint of God’s very being, and he sustains all things by his powerful word. When he had made purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high.”
Christ is the exact imprint of God’s being—and through Him, we learn who God is, who we are, and how deeply we are loved.
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