Step One: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.
Key Verse: “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.” (Romans 7:18, ESV)
Facing Denial Through Biblical Truth
The process of recovery for adult children of alcoholics (ACA) or those in Celebrate Recovery begins with confronting denial—the refusal to acknowledge painful truths about one’s past and its ongoing impact. Scripture reminds us that healing begins with truth: “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
Denial distorts our memories, often causing us to misremember our childhoods as either “ideal” or “insignificant,” when in reality, they may have been marked by neglect, abuse, or dysfunction. This echoes the warning in Jeremiah 6:14, where God rebukes those who attempt to heal wounds superficially by denying their depth: “They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace.”
Through the lens of faith, we acknowledge that denial is a tool of the enemy to keep us bound in chains of shame and fear. Yet, God’s Word invites us to bring these hidden wounds into His light: “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:5).
Understanding Trauma Through a Biblical Lens
Many adult children struggle with “trauma bonds,” unhealthy attachments formed with abusive or neglectful parents out of a need for survival. While the world provides psychological frameworks to describe this, Scripture offers the ultimate understanding of broken relationships: sin distorts love and trust. Even so, God is our Redeemer and Father who promises healing and restoration. As the psalmist writes: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).
Trauma often causes memory gaps or distorted perceptions of the past. However, we can find hope in Isaiah 43:18-19: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” While some memories may never fully return, God’s transformative power allows us to heal and move forward, regardless of the clarity of our recollections.
Naming the Truth of Our Family Dysfunction
Step One invites us to name the specific family dynamics that shaped us without fear of judgment. Jesus Himself exemplified speaking truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), encouraging us to confront difficult realities while trusting in His grace. As we examine the roles and traits developed in response to family dysfunction, we find comfort in knowing that Christ offers us a new identity: “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Some key dysfunctions we might recognize include:
- Denial of Anger: Many struggle to see anger in themselves or their parents, despite its presence in their upbringing. God’s Word encourages us to “Be angry and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26), teaching us to process emotions righteously rather than suppressing or distorting them.
- Enmeshment: Enmeshment creates blurred boundaries, leading to unhealthy dependence on others. Jesus modeled healthy relationships by setting boundaries, often withdrawing to pray and recharge (Luke 5:16).
- Rigid Control: The false sense of control we develop in denial often leads to codependence, isolation, and self-hatred. Yet, Christ invites us to surrender control to Him: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).
Denial: The Acrostic
The acrostic DENIAL provides a practical framework for recognizing how denial hinders our spiritual and emotional growth.
- Disable Our Feelings: Suppressing emotions leaves us numb, but God calls us to freedom: “For we are slaves of anything that has conquered us” (2 Peter 2:19).
- Energy Lost: Denial drains us with anxiety and fear, yet Jesus offers rest: “He lifts the burdens from those bent down beneath their loads” (Psalm 146:8).
- Negates Growth: We cannot grow while clinging to secrets. God rescues us from darkness: “They cried to the Lord, and He led them out of their darkness and snapped their chains” (Psalm 107:13-14).
- Isolates Us From God: Denial keeps us in darkness, but walking in the light restores fellowship (1 John 1:5-7).
- Alienates Us From Relationships: Deception erodes trust. Scripture urges us: “Speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:25).
- Lengthens the Pain: Denial prolongs suffering, but God promises healing: “I will restore you to health and heal your wounds” (Jeremiah 30:17).
Biblical Hope in Recovery
By admitting our powerlessness, we embrace the truth of our spiritual poverty: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3). This step aligns us with God’s grace, enabling us to release control and allow Him to work in our lives.
Reflect and Write
- How is powerlessness different from helplessness?
Powerlessness acknowledges our need for God’s strength (2 Corinthians 12:9), while helplessness denies the hope and power available to us through Christ. - What areas of your life do you control? What areas are unmanageable?
Reflect on the practical steps you can take to honor God with your health, relationships, and spiritual disciplines, while surrendering the unmanageable to Him in faith. - How can taking this first step draw you closer to God?
By stepping out of denial, we allow God to shine His light into our brokenness. He promises: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you” (Ezekiel 36:26). - What is the next step in addressing denial?
Commit to daily surrender, prayer, and studying Scripture, trusting that God will complete the good work He began in you (Philippians 1:6).
Step One challenges us to stop running from the truth and instead run toward Christ, who offers unconditional love, grace, and healing. By facing denial, we step into His light and begin the journey toward redemption and freedom. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1).
Download Instructions: Print this worksheet and take your time answering each section. Use this as a guide in your personal recovery journey and as a tool for group discussions in ACA or Celebrate Recovery.