Facing Both Ways: When Christian Recovery Loses Its Direction and the Soul Begins to Drift

I have found moments in my own recovery journey, faith, and life when I realized I have been living divided. One part of my heart longs for God, healing, peace, and truth. Yet, another part wanted to reach back toward toxic patterns, unhealthy attachments, worldly validation, and spiritual compromise. And I found that I am not alone – many people today are exhausted, not because they do not love Christ, because they are attempting to face two different directions at once. This is the spiritual condition A.W. Tozer exposed quite powerfully within Chapter Seven of his work The Set of the Sail. The chapter is titled, Facing Both Ways. Tozer observed a Christianity that spoke Christian lingo while slowly adopting worldly values. He warned of a divided orientation – a soul that attempted to follow God while remaining emotionally attached to the systems that once kept the person in bondage.

For many of us fellow travelers, walking through recovery from addiction, codependency, family dysfunction, spiritual abuse, or faith crisis, this tension feels painfully familiar. Each of us desires freedom, yet sometimes we mourn the chains left behind. We seek Christ, yet fear surrendering our life and will over to His care. We pray for healing yet continue to entertain voices that have wounded us.

However, the Gospel never calls us to a divided direction. Christ invites us into His rest with a wholehearted orientation.

Anchor Verse – Psalm 16:8 (NRSVUE): “I have set the Lord before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.”

A divided heart creates instability. Scripture teaches that “the double-minded are unstable in every way” (James 1:8, NRSVUE). Recovery becomes quite fragile when our own direction is unclear. Faith becomes shallow when we attempt to seek both the approval of God and the acceptance of unhealthy systems that tend to distract and lead us away from Him.

Today, let’s take a moment to reflect on how Tozer diagnosed modern Christianity with what he called dual orientation. Theology that faces God, yet desires continue facing the world. The result is spiritual confusion, emotional exhaustion, compromised conviction, and diluted discipleship.

Let’s face it: many Christians on a path of recovery understand this quite deeply and personally. Addiction itself is often rooted in divided affection – wanting peace while feeding into the chaos. Desiring intimacy while hiding in the darkness of dysfunction. Wanting God yet remaining emotionally tethered to destructive patterns.

Christ does not merely improve our attitude and behavior – He reorients the entire person. Are you ready for a spiritual reorientation of the heart, mind, and spirit today?

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Powerless Over the Storm — Not Powerless Over the Sail

Ever have one of those moments where clarity doesn’t arrive with fireworks, but with a quiet, unmistakable shift inside your chest—a soft Aha, a gentle epiphany that feels less like a thought and more like a whisper settling into your spirit? That happened to me as I was preparing for today’s devotional message. I was sitting with A. W. Tozer’s The Set of the Sail, revisiting the opening chapter, when something in those pages caught me off guard. And then it hit me—clean, sharp, and humbling. How have I missed what the Third Step may truly be inviting us into?

For anyone unfamiliar, the Third Step in recovery says that we “made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” On the surface, it sounds simple enough—surrender your will, your autonomy, your desires. Let God take the helm. But beneath that simplicity lies the raw truth that brought many of us to recovery in the first place: we finally saw how far we had drifted, how powerless we had become, how our lives had unraveled into chaos, disorder, and ruin. And in that unraveling, we recognized our need for a power greater than ourselves to intervene.

But here’s the part we rarely talk about. That moment of surrender doesn’t usually feel holy. It doesn’t feel triumphant. It feels like waking up from a long, heavy fog—numb, disoriented, spiritually exhausted. Faith feels distant. Purpose feels fractured. And somewhere in the stillness of that inner ache, a question rises: Am I drifting? And the honest answer is yes. We have drifted. And that truth cuts through the noise of our anxious, chaotic thoughts with a clarity we can’t ignore. Because in that moment, we’re no longer moved by emotion—we’re moved by a deliberate, trembling desire to choose something different.

Tozer writes that the direction of a life is not determined by the strength of the wind, but by the set of the will. He echoes Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s line: “It is the set of the sails and not the gales which tells us the way to go.” That line stopped me. Because if we’re honest—with ourselves and with our Heavenly Father—when we’re standing in the middle of doubt, fear, anxiety, or spiritual fatigue, this truth matters more than we realize.

It matters because the confrontation of the Third Step is not merely about surrender. It is about resetting the sails of our recovery, our faith, and our lives. It is about choosing—sometimes with trembling hands—to turn the bow of our soul back toward the One who has been waiting to guide us all along.

Anchor Verse: “Now if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served in the region beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living, but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15, NRSVUE

I know—at first glance, this verse can feel like a cliché. It’s the kind of Scripture that ends up on wall art, coffee mugs, and Christian décor aisles. And for those who know the context, it might even raise a question: Why use Joshua 24:15 here? Why bring in a verse where Joshua is telling Israel to choose between the Lord and the gods of their ancestors or the gods of the Amorites?

But that’s exactly why I love this verse. Because Joshua isn’t simply telling Israel to “choose God.” He’s confronting them with a deeper truth: if you do not choose to serve the Lord, you will still serve something. You will serve the gods of your past, or the gods of the culture around you—but you will serve something.

And suddenly, the connection to the Third Step becomes painfully clear.

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The Spiritual Architecture of Authentic Joy

Every one of us knows what it feels like to have parts of our life in ruins — our peace, our confidence, our identity, our sense of direction. Just like the people in Nehemiah’s day, we look around and realize the walls we thought would protect us have crumbled, and the life we were trying to hold together through sheer effort isn’t working anymore.

And in that moment, we all chase the same thing: “If I can just fix this… then I’ll finally be happy.”

Scripture gives us a different picture. Nehemiah shows us that joy doesn’t come from getting everything under control — it comes from letting God rebuild what we cannot.

And Christ teaches the same truth in Matthew 16:24 – “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me…”

The life we attempt to save through control is the life we lose. The life we surrender to Him is the life where joy becomes possible.

When the people in Nehemiah 8 heard the word of God, they broke down. They wept. They realized how far they had drifted, how empty their efforts had become, and how exhausted they were from trying to manage life on their own.

But Nehemiah didn’t say, “Stay in your sorrow.” He said: “Do not mourn… for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10)

Not the joy of circumstances. Not the joy of achievement. Not the joy of control. The joy of the Lord.

This is the same joy Christ points to in Matthew 16 — the joy that comes after surrender, after discipleship, after laying down the old life.

Nehemiah rebuilt walls. Christ rebuilds people. And both teach us that joy is not something we chase — it’s something God builds in us when we stop trying to build life on our own terms.

It is the reason Christ says that we are to Seek after the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness in order to experience all that the Father desires to bestow upon each one of us. Not because we need to beg God to do anything for us. Instead, we are to place our faith and trust in who God is and believing on Jesus Christ – knowing that our Heavenly Father will provide. And we do this with a thankful heart (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

I’m not teaching this as theory. I’ve lived the illusion of control. I’ve watched people chase happiness until they’re exhausted, empty, and spiritually malnourished. And I’ve watched what happens when someone finally lets go — when they deny the old self, take up the cross, and follow Christ into a life that is actually sustainable.

Here are the reality and truth: Short‑term happiness is fleeting. Joy is durable. Contentment is stabilizing. Peace is transformative. And Christ is the only One who can reorder our lives so that joy becomes possible.

Nehemiah shows us the reality and truth. Christ shows us the path. And together they teach us that authentic joy is not found in control — it is found in surrender.

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Day 1 – The First Step – Honesty

“I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God. Yeah, I know that I am nothing: as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things” (Alma 26:11-12)

Addiction surrenders later freedom to choose. Through chemical means, one can literally become disconnected from his or her own will.” (Elder Russell M. Nelson, in Conference Report, October 1988, 7; or Ensign, Nov. 1988, 7). 

There comes a moment in our own personal journey when the illusion of self-sufficiency collapses. We discover that the strength we trusted has betrayed us, and the wisdom we followed has led us into bondage. Yet this moment – this breaking – is not the end. It is the doorway to the only strength that can save us.

Welcome, fellow travelers. Today we walk together into the holy paradox of recovery: the place where admitting our nothingness becomes the birthplace of divine strength. The scriptures do not shame our weakness – they reveal it as the very place where Christ meets us. This journey towards wholeness involves a profound acknowledgment of our vulnerability and the limitations of our mortal existence. As we explore these spiritual truths, we uncover the transformative power inherent in our weaknesses, enabling us to forge a deeper relationship with our Creator.

Heavenly Father, we come as we are – empty, weary, and aware of our need. Thank you for your grace that teaches us the freedom of surrender. Thank you for teaching us the joy of boasting only in Your grace that strengthens us in our own weakness. Thank you for your grace that fills our nothingness with Thy strength, that we may rise in the light of Thy truth – in Jesus’ name, Amen.

There is a sacred honesty that God requires before He can remake a soul. It is not the honesty of mere confession, nor the honesty of admitting mistakes. It is the honesty of reaching the end of our own resources and discovering that our strength has never been enough. Alma’s declaration— “I know that I am nothing”—is not the groan of despair but the first breath of spiritual clarity. It is the moment when the soul stops pretending, shedding the facade of self-reliance to embrace the empowering truth of dependence on God. This is where healing begins—a transformative process that beckons us to lay down our burdens.

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Genesis 1:26–28: Created for Fellowship, Fruitfulness, and Freedom

When God created humanity, He didn’t begin with rules, shame, or expectations. He began with blessing, purpose, and relationship. Before we ever failed, He called us very good. And for those of us walking the long road of recovery — from addiction, fear, codependency, or spiritual exhaustion — Genesis 1 reminds us of something we often forget: God’s original intention for us has not changed. He still loves us, still calls us, and still longs to bless us as we surrender to Him.

Hello and welcome, fellow Travelers.

Today, I want to walk with you as we continue our journey through Genesis, exploring what it means to walk in Sacred Sobriety — a path where God restores what was lost, heals what was broken, and reclaims what fear and shame tried to steal. Our anchor verse is Genesis 1:26–28, a passage that reveals God’s heart for us from the very beginning.

ANCHOR VERSE — Genesis 1:26–28 (NASB)

Then God said, “Let Us make mankind in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule…” God created mankind in His own image… male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth…”

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, we come to You as people in need of Your restoring touch. Thank you for opening our hearts to Your original intention for us — fellowship, fruitfulness, and blessing. Thank you for healing the places where fear, pride, and shame have distorted our view of You. Teach us to surrender, not out of fear, but out of trust. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Where the Battle’s Lost or Won: A Christian Devotional

Key Passage: If you, Israel, will return, then return to me,” declares the Lord. — Jeremiah 4:1

Life is a battlefield, and as believers, our most critical battles are spiritual. But these battles are not fought in the external world first. Instead, the victory—or the defeat—occurs in the quiet, unseen spaces of our soul, before God. It’s in these secret places of the will where we must wrestle with our choices, our desires, and our surrender to God.

This devotional will explore what it means to fight and win the spiritual battles that define our lives, the biblical insights that guide us, and the tools God provides to equip us for these moments. Through this journey, we will discover how abandonment to God and seeking His will lead to transformation and victory.

The Secret Battleground of the Will

Jeremiah 4:1 captures the essence of God’s heart: “If you, Israel, will return, then return to me.” It’s a call to return to God with all our hearts, to make a choice in the depth of our will to align with Him. Every spiritual battle begins here, in the decision to return to God fully or to waver in our commitment.

The prophet Jeremiah called Israel to repentance, but this was not simply a call to outward religious actions. It was a call to an inward battle—a wrestling of the will to submit to God’s sovereignty and love. The same is true for us today. Our battles against temptation, fear, pride, or sin are won or lost before God, in the secret places of our hearts, long before they manifest in the external world.

Key Insight: The Battle Starts with Surrender

Consider Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:39–46). In His humanity, He wrestled with the Father’s will, praying, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). The battle of the cross was won in that moment of surrender. Jesus, fully God and fully man, modeled the truth that spiritual victory comes when we align our will with the Father’s.

When we fail to wrestle it out before God in private, we go into the world unprepared. The external pressures overwhelm us, and we find ourselves succumbing to sin, doubt, or despair. But when we take the time to fight the battle before God—no matter how long it takes—we can stand firm in the world, confident in His power.

Practical Tools for Winning the Secret Battle

Here are steps to help you win your battles in the secret place:

  1. Get Alone with God
    Spend time in prayer and solitude. Bring your fears, desires, and struggles before Him without reservation. Psalm 46:10 reminds us to “Be still, and know that I am God.”
  2. Be Honest About Your Struggles
    God already knows your heart. Confess your doubts, failures, and fears. James 4:7–8 encourages us to “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.”
  3. Pray with Surrender
    Like Jesus in Gethsemane, pray for God’s will to be done in your life, even when it’s hard. Pray for strength to align your will with His.
  4. Meditate on Scripture
    God’s Word is a weapon in our spiritual battles (Ephesians 6:17). Meditate on verses that remind you of His power, love, and faithfulness. For example:
    • “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14).
    • “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
    • “Submit yourselves, then, to God” (James 4:7).
  5. Rely on the Holy Spirit
    We cannot fight these battles on our own. Romans 8:26 reminds us that “the Spirit helps us in our weakness.” Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you, strengthen you, and intercede on your behalf.

Key Takeaways

  1. The battle is internal before it is external.
    If we lose the battle in our hearts and minds, we’ll lose it in the world. Victory begins with surrender to God in prayer and submission.
  2. God’s power is made perfect in our weakness.
    Our struggles remind us of our dependence on Him. When we feel overwhelmed, His strength sustains us (2 Corinthians 12:9).
  3. Winning the battle brings spiritual freedom.
    Once we wrestle through our struggles with God and surrender to Him, we are no longer enslaved by fear, doubt, or sin. We experience His peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6–7).

Reflective Questions

Take time to meditate on these questions in prayer:

  1. What battles are you currently facing in your heart?
  2. Have you taken the time to wrestle with God in prayer over these struggles?
  3. What steps can you take this week to surrender your will to His?
  4. How can you use Scripture and prayer as tools to strengthen your faith during spiritual battles?
  5. Reflect on a time when you won a battle by surrendering to God. What did you learn?

Spiritual Application: Abandonment to God

Abandoning ourselves to God’s will is not a one-time event but a daily act of surrender. Every day, we face decisions that either draw us closer to God or pull us away from Him. When we consciously choose to align our will with His, we walk in His light and His power.

The process of abandonment often involves sacrifice—letting go of our desires, control, or plans. But it also leads to the deepest joy and peace, as we trust in God’s perfect plan. Remember Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Call to Action

We hope this devotional has encouraged you to reflect on your spiritual battles and the importance of surrendering to God. Now, we want to hear from you!

  • Share your thoughts in the comments below. What spoke to you most about today’s message?
  • If this devotional blessed you, don’t forget to like and share it with someone who needs encouragement today.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter for weekly devotionals and spiritual insights delivered straight to your inbox.
  • Consider supporting our ministry so we can continue spreading the hope and love of Christ.

Remember: The battle is the Lord’s, but your victory begins with surrendering your will to Him. Let’s walk this journey of faith together!

Where the Battle’s Lost or Won: A Christian Devotional

Key Passage: If you, Israel, will return, then return to me,” declares the Lord. — Jeremiah 4:1

Life is a battlefield, and as believers, our most critical battles are spiritual. But these battles are not fought in the external world first. Instead, the victory—or the defeat—occurs in the quiet, unseen spaces of our soul, before God. It’s in these secret places of the will where we must wrestle with our choices, our desires, and our surrender to God.

This devotional will explore what it means to fight and win the spiritual battles that define our lives, the biblical insights that guide us, and the tools God provides to equip us for these moments. Through this journey, we will discover how abandonment to God and seeking His will lead to transformation and victory.

The Secret Battleground of the Will

Jeremiah 4:1 captures the essence of God’s heart: “If you, Israel, will return, then return to me.” It’s a call to return to God with all our hearts, to make a choice in the depth of our will to align with Him. Every spiritual battle begins here, in the decision to return to God fully or to waver in our commitment.

The prophet Jeremiah called Israel to repentance, but this was not simply a call to outward religious actions. It was a call to an inward battle—a wrestling of the will to submit to God’s sovereignty and love. The same is true for us today. Our battles against temptation, fear, pride, or sin are won or lost before God, in the secret places of our hearts, long before they manifest in the external world.

Key Insight: The Battle Starts with Surrender

Consider Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:39–46). In His humanity, He wrestled with the Father’s will, praying, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42). The battle of the cross was won in that moment of surrender. Jesus, fully God and fully man, modeled the truth that spiritual victory comes when we align our will with the Father’s.

When we fail to wrestle it out before God in private, we go into the world unprepared. The external pressures overwhelm us, and we find ourselves succumbing to sin, doubt, or despair. But when we take the time to fight the battle before God—no matter how long it takes—we can stand firm in the world, confident in His power.

Practical Tools for Winning the Secret Battle

Here are steps to help you win your battles in the secret place:

  1. Get Alone with God
    Spend time in prayer and solitude. Bring your fears, desires, and struggles before Him without reservation. Psalm 46:10 reminds us to “Be still, and know that I am God.”
  2. Be Honest About Your Struggles
    God already knows your heart. Confess your doubts, failures, and fears. James 4:7–8 encourages us to “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.”
  3. Pray with Surrender
    Like Jesus in Gethsemane, pray for God’s will to be done in your life, even when it’s hard. Pray for strength to align your will with His.
  4. Meditate on Scripture
    God’s Word is a weapon in our spiritual battles (Ephesians 6:17). Meditate on verses that remind you of His power, love, and faithfulness. For example:
    • “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14).
    • “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).
    • “Submit yourselves, then, to God” (James 4:7).
  5. Rely on the Holy Spirit
    We cannot fight these battles on our own. Romans 8:26 reminds us that “the Spirit helps us in our weakness.” Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you, strengthen you, and intercede on your behalf.

Key Takeaways

  1. The battle is internal before it is external.
    If we lose the battle in our hearts and minds, we’ll lose it in the world. Victory begins with surrender to God in prayer and submission.
  2. God’s power is made perfect in our weakness.
    Our struggles remind us of our dependence on Him. When we feel overwhelmed, His strength sustains us (2 Corinthians 12:9).
  3. Winning the battle brings spiritual freedom.
    Once we wrestle through our struggles with God and surrender to Him, we are no longer enslaved by fear, doubt, or sin. We experience His peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6–7).

Reflective Questions

Take time to meditate on these questions in prayer:

  1. What battles are you currently facing in your heart?
  2. Have you taken the time to wrestle with God in prayer over these struggles?
  3. What steps can you take this week to surrender your will to His?
  4. How can you use Scripture and prayer as tools to strengthen your faith during spiritual battles?
  5. Reflect on a time when you won a battle by surrendering to God. What did you learn?

Spiritual Application: Abandonment to God

Abandoning ourselves to God’s will is not a one-time event but a daily act of surrender. Every day, we face decisions that either draw us closer to God or pull us away from Him. When we consciously choose to align our will with His, we walk in His light and His power.

The process of abandonment often involves sacrifice—letting go of our desires, control, or plans. But it also leads to the deepest joy and peace, as we trust in God’s perfect plan. Remember Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Call to Action

We hope this devotional has encouraged you to reflect on your spiritual battles and the importance of surrendering to God. Now, we want to hear from you!

  • Share your thoughts in the comments below. What spoke to you most about today’s message?
  • If this devotional blessed you, don’t forget to like and share it with someone who needs encouragement today.
  • Subscribe to our newsletter for weekly devotionals and spiritual insights delivered straight to your inbox.
  • Consider supporting our ministry so we can continue spreading the hope and love of Christ.

Remember: The battle is the Lord’s, but your victory begins with surrendering your will to Him. Let’s walk this journey of faith together!