How often have we walked into our Sunday meetings looking for a sanctuary from the world that seems to be troubled, in a state of confusion, and quite volatile and toxic? And yet, we step into a place where one may frequently find something much more challenging: a room full of people who have a wide range of differences. It may be quite tempting to see these differences as hinderances or even obstacles to our own spiritual growth. However, what if such annoyances of our specific wards are actually the very tools God uses to encourage, edify, and strengthen us? And sometimes, these people seemed to rub us the wrong way – you know – sandpaper people.¹

Wait…what? Sandpaper people? Yep, exactly – sandpaper people are those who may rub us the wrong way. You know, the ones that seemingly get under our skin sometimes? The ones we may want to avoid, even at church. And yet, you may be wondering – what is a sandpaper person? And furthermore, what purpose do they serve?

Sandpaper is designed to smooth out and refine surfaces. A sheet, or strip, of paper that is quite abrasive, depending on the grade, where it smooths out rough spots, removes rust or old paint. It is also used to prepare surfaces for painting, staining, and polishing. In essence, sandpaper’s sole intention and purpose is to refine and smooth out the rough edges. And that is exactly what sandpaper do – they smooth out the rough edges and refine us in ways that help shape and transform us into whom our Heavenly Father has called us to become.

Isaiah 48:10 says, “See, I have refined you but not like silver; I have tested you in the furnace of adversity.” And you may be wondering, what does Isaiah 48:10 and sandpaper people have to do with attending Church?

Here is the simple truth: God does not refine us in isolation, nor does He shape us only through peaceful, agreeable circumstances. Instead, our Heavenly Father refines us in the furnace of adversity – and sometimes, that furnace of adversity looks surprisingly ordinary. You know, the person singing loudly behind you during Sacrament meeting. The kids with an apparent case of ants in their pants and parents doing their best to help them practice reverence. Or the person who shows up in jeans and a shirt with no tie. People that somehow do not fit our mold or expectations. Let’s face it – our wards consist of people full of personalities, preferences, quirks, and rough edges that collide with our own.

And this is an uncomfortable and beautiful reality.

Sandpaper people are part of God’s refining fire where we are to come together in unity of faith, common consent, and edifying and strengthening one another in the faith. Not because they are problematic. Not because they may appear less spiritual. And certainly, not because they are annoying obstacles to our worship. Because Our Heavenly Father, in his infinite wisdom, places us in communities where our rough edges meet theirs – and in that friction, something holy happens. Something we may not ever choose, yet something we desperately need.

Elder Patrick Kearon opened up the Saturday Morning Session of General Conference with a message titled About His Business” regarding how our service is a choice, an offering to God and a blessing. He appears to reframe the local ward, not as a social club for the like-minded individuals. Instead, he provided insight on how this may be a divine place of fellowship. A place where the friction of serving people who are “very different to us” creates the heat necessary to forge Christlike virtues – charity, meekness, and forgiveness – that simply may not be developed in isolation. If you’ve ever struggled to find your place in a diverse congregation, you are not failing the test; you are finally in the right place.

I want to take a moment and walk with you as we bridge the gap between modern apostolic counsel and ancient scripture. To understand how The Body of Christ requires every different member to function – and the reason our growth depends on the person sitting three pews away.

Scriptural and Revelatory Reality: One Father, One Body – Unity of Faith

Consider this for a moment. The Church is not merely a sanctuary from the problems and issues within our culture and society. It is not merely a sanctuary from the adversity and challenges we are facing in life. It is oftentimes the very environment where God applies the varying degrees of annoyances and obstacles where we are called to love one another as the Savior has loved us (John 13:34-35). And as harsh as this may sound – we all need to be convicted of this – Malachi reminds us of a fundamental and scriptural truth:

“Have we not all one father? Has not one God created us? Why then are we faithless to one another profaning the covenant of our ancestors?” (Malachi 2:10, NRSVUE).

Maybe we have become too comfortable with calling each other brother and sister and have forgotten the deeper meaning behind this. After all, doesn’t our Heavenly Father invite all people to come unto Christ? Everyone regardless of race, ethnicity, cultural and social background (2 Nephi 26:33)?

When Elder Kearon speaks of serving people who are “very different to us,” he is calling us back to this Malachian covenant. To be “faithless” to a ward member – regardless of political, social, or economic differences – is to profane the very covenant that binds us together with Christ, and by which binds us to God.

It is, therefore, in these moments – you know, the ones that irritate us, stretch us, or expose our own impatience – that our Heavenly Father is quietly doing His most transformative work. And maybe this is the truth we may have overlooked. We pray for Christlike character. We ask God to make us more loving, more patient, more kind, humbler, more gracious. And somehow, we may have this idea that such virtues are something that God downloads into our hearts and minds like some divine app.

And here is the rub – these virtues need to be developed, refined, and require moments of being uncomfortable. And this development and refinement require friction in our spiritual walk and discipleship. So, our Heavenly Father, in His kindness. In His divine tender mercies, surrounds us with people who become the very instruments of our sanctification. Not by mere coincidence or accident. By divine design.

This is the surprising gift: Sandpaper people are not sent to wear us down – they are sent to smooth out our rough edges and refine us to fulfill His will and purpose in our lives.

They reveal:

• Where we are still reactive
• Where pride still lives
• Where impatience still rules
• Where grace and tender mercies has not yet taken root

And if we allow our Heavenly Father to do so, He will use these sandpaper people to polish us into something more like His Son. After all, the Apostle Paul writes that we are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) and because of this, there ought to be now no more condemnation for many of us who are in Christ (Romans 8:1).

Because of this unity of faith – we are to follow the Apostle Paul’s counsel where we are to come into a unity of faith with one another (Ephesians 4:13). And part of that is to understand that we all have been called into liberty where we are to serve one another by love and fulfill the law to love thy neighbor as thyself (Galatians 5:12-13).

The Virtue of Loving Others

Elder Kearon specifically highlights meekness and forgiveness. Writing to the gentile Christians at Colossae, the Apostle Paul utilizes the metaphor of clothing ourselves with these virtues. These are not innate either. They are worn through the practice of bearing with one another:

As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive (Colossians 3:12–14 (NRSVUE)

When we practice meekness and forgiveness, and the very oil within our wards that keeps our fellowship strong – strengthening and edifying one another – we are living out the Micah mandate: “He has told you, O mortal, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).

We are to fellowship without the complaints that may naturally arise between different people, the virtue of meekness and forgiveness remains constant. Bonding us together in covenantal relationship.

The Telos: The Body of Christ Bonded Together in Covenantal Relationship

What then is the ultimate goal? Well, it is telos to serve one another and create Zion within our communities. Paul’s imagery of the body is the perfect understanding of Elder Kearon’s vision of serving in various callings within our ward community. A vision of a bonded covenantal people. Paul, writing to the Corinthians, instructs how the body possesses many different parts (members) and that they are all of one body (1 Corinthians 12:12). He further reminds the Corinthian church that because we are the body of Christ – we are to recognize and appreciate one another.

This inclusivity is essential; it highlights the interdependence of each member within our community. Just like the various parts of a physical body work together to ensure function and health, the contributions of each member enrich the overall spiritual and communal life. Each gift and talent we offer plays a crucial role in the collective mission we share, often referred to as about our Heavenly Father’s business.

In our journey to embody this goal, we are called to look beyond our individual circumstances and focus on the interconnectedness that truly defines us. Elder Kearon emphasizes that “He needs you, and He needs me. Life is better, everything is better when we are about His business.” This perspective encourages us to actively participate and serve in ways that uplift and support one another, fostering a strong sense of belonging and mutual respect. When we heed this call, we contribute to building Zion—a place where love, unity, and faith flourish among all its inhabitants.

It definitively helps us understand the deeper, and poignant relational, layer of what King Benjamin said: “When ye are in the service of your fellow men – ye are in the service of God (Mosiah 2:17).

Ultimately, every act of service, no matter how small, is a building block toward this divine vision. It is through these acts that we become a bonded covenantal people, working together in faith and purpose, united in the endeavor to reflect Christ’s love and acceptance in our communities. Whether it is through teaching, serving, or simply offering a listening ear, we can all play our part in creating a sacred space where everyone feels valued and supported.

The Divine Friction: Reason God Gives Us Callings – and Sandpaper People

So, you may be wondering – what does this have to do with Isaiah 48:10 and “sandpaper people” in our wards? And, furthermore, you may be wondering how this relates to Elder Kearon’s talk regarding how we are to be “about our Father’s business” in serving in our wards – magnifying our callings we are given.

Take a moment and think about this: how often do we see Church callings as more of an arbitrary assignment rather than a process of refining us spiritually? For one, the primary reason is so that we are to feel uncomfortable as the Lord wants to stretch us. We receive callings where it places us in this refiner’s fiery furnace. If we merely sit back in the very last pew and dart out after the closing prayer, we are doing nothing more than maintaining the illusion of our own spiritual perfection. However, a calling – whether it is in the primary, the Elder’s Quorum, or the library – we are becoming the hands and feet of God in service.

• Galatians 6:2 – we are to bear one another’s burdens so that we are fulfilling the law of Christ.
• 1 Peter 4:10 – we have gifts and talents that God desires for us to use in building up His Kingdom
• Mark 10:45 – Christ himself did not come into mortality to be served – he came to serve
• Matthew 25:40 – Our service toward one another in building up the Kingdom of God is where we receive blessings in this life and in the life to come.

And this requires that we interact with those in our wards that are sandpaper people – because, maybe, it is God’s hand that is pressing us against the sandpaper – softening, rounding out the edges, and smoothing out our rough edges.

Elder Patrick Kearon’s message, About His Business, is not about our wards being a social club where we linger longer, enjoying Sister Henderson’s funeral potatoes, and grandma’s green Jello with carrots. What Elder Kearon notes is that when we are serving people who are very different from us – it creates heat, and this is necessary to forge:

1. Charity – when they may be difficult to love and forgive
2. Meekness – when we think our way is better
3. Forgiveness – when the friction causes a scratch or splinter.

And let’s remind ourselves of what the Apostle Paul taught, that there is Faith, Hope, Charity and above all – Charity is the greatest (1 Corinthians 13:13). All other spiritual gifts may falter and fail – yet what remains with a steadfast persistence is this divine triad of virtues. What abides (which I love how the King James Version uses) are these three quintessential virtues that guide our actions and shape our relationships. The greatest of the trio is charity – or love, a profound and selfless embodiment of care for others. The reason I love the word abide in 1 Corinthians 13:13 is because it signifies that faith, hope, and charity are meant to endure, transcending the trials of life. It is something that refers to tarry and sojourn, illustrating a journey of continuous presence. It speaks to a commitment to not part, ensuring that these virtues are perpetually available and woven into the fabric of our existence. To be kept or held is to maintain a living connection with these values, nurturing them so that they never perish and instead, blossom within our hearts, flourishing in acts of kindness and compassion. To remain as one with expectancy means to view life through the lens of hope, embracing the potential that each day brings while anchored in the love that charity embodies—a love that knows no bounds and strives to uplift the spirit of humanity.

Final Thoughts and Reflections

Maybe you are feeling the “grit” of a difficult calling or a challenging member of your ward – take heart. You are not failing the test of discipleship. You may be in the furnace – the refiner’s fire of Isaiah 48:10. God is simply using the person three pews away to smooth out your rough edges so that He may eventually polish you into the image of His Son.

Life is better – and our souls are smoother – when we are about our Father’s business.

Endnote

1. Kopp, Kelly. Think About That: A Forty‑Day Devotional, vol. 1, Day 29, “Sandpaper People.” Kelly K Ministries, n.d.
   Annotation: In this devotional entry, Pastor Kelly Kopp introduces the metaphor of “sandpaper people” to describe individuals who challenge, irritate, or stretch us in ways that ultimately refine our character. Kopp emphasizes that God often uses difficult relationships as tools of sanctification, smoothing out our rough edges through the friction of interpersonal tension. This concept aligns closely with biblical themes of refinement and spiritual growth, reinforcing the idea that adversity—especially relational adversity—is a divinely appointed means of shaping believers into Christlike disciples. Kopp’s reflection provides a practical and pastoral framework for understanding how God uses imperfect people in our lives to cultivate humility, patience, and grace. ↩︎