This Crucified Life: What I No Longer Miss

What is the purpose of this message today? Why focus on what I no longer miss? Because today’s message is about what dies and what rises within each one of us. Luke 9 is the clearest, the sharpest, and the most recovery aligned call Jesus ever gives. It is a call to deny self. A call for us to take up our cross daily. A call to follow after Him. And it is one where we are asked to count the cost because it requires that we lose our life in order to save it. It is where we come to the end of ourselves, attempting to gain the appeasement of those around us, to gain what the world may offer us, yet lose our very soul in the process. It speaks directly to the “things I no longer miss” in my own addiction, codependency, chasing the girlies, and pretending to be someone I never was.

Welcome back, fellow travelers. If you haven’t watched the recent devotional in our Set of the Sail series— “The Lord Giveth Knowledge: The Spiritual Awakening of Christian Recovery”—I encourage you to do that. In that message, we talked about walking the crucified life… not coping, not managing, not surviving… but dying to self so that Christ may live fully in us. Having a real genuine spiritual awakening to the things of God.

Today, we’re going deeper. Because if we’re honest, many of us have spent years trying to “manage” life on life’s terms. But Sacred Sobriety is not about management. It’s about transformation. It’s about stepping boldly into the victory Christ already secured.

You and I have twenty‑four hours today. And I want to take a few of those minutes to speak directly to the wounds, addictions, anxieties, fears, and faith crises that have shaped us.

Because there are things I no longer miss. And I want to show you why.

Anchor Verse — Luke 9:23–26: “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will save it.

This is the heartbeat of recovery. This is the heartbeat of discipleship. This is the heartbeat of Sacred Sobriety.

Jesus is not calling us to cope. He is calling us to die— to ego, to self‑will, to the old patterns, to the old wounds, to the old survival strategies. And in that death… He calls us to live. To live a blessed and abundant life. To live with peace of mind and joy in our hearts. Yet to do this – he invites us in because we are heavy laden, weary travelers and are in much need of rest (Matthew 11:28-29).

From Surviving to Thriving: The Spiritual Awakening Every Christian in Recovery Needs

If you’re not familiar with the early story of Alcoholics Anonymous, it’s often said that the ideas behind the Twelve Steps were shaped by the Oxford Group—a gathering of Christian men committed to honesty, confession, restitution, and surrender. Bill Wilson, one of AA’s founders, was deeply influenced by them. But today’s devotional isn’t about the origins of AA. It’s about a man named Rowland Hazard, whose struggle with alcoholism led him to seek help from the famed psychiatrist Carl Jung in the early 1930s.

After extensive treatment, Jung told Hazard something that sounds harsh but is deeply honest: his condition was hopeless from a medical standpoint. His only hope, Jung said, was a spiritual experience—a profound awakening that would transform him from the inside out. That realization eventually shaped the foundation of AA itself. Hazard’s spiritual awakening, experienced through the Oxford Group, was shared with Bill Wilson, and from that encounter the Twelve Steps were born.

Let’s sit with that for a moment. Because in my own journey—through recovery, sobriety, homelessness, fear, doubt, and a faith crisis—I had to face the same truth: everything was utterly hopeless until I had a spiritual awakening. Some call it “hitting bottom.” But I’ve come to see it as the moment the Holy Spirit reveals Christ to us in a way the intellect alone could never reach.

Today, many try to think their way into faith. They know about God but never come to know God Himself. And that brings us to the heart of today’s message: What does it mean to truly know God—and Jesus Christ whom He has sent? (John 17:3)

Our anchor verse is Isaiah 1:18–20, where God invites us to “come and reason together.”

Come now, let us argue it out, says the Lord: if your sins are like scarlet, will they become like snow? If they are red like crimson, will they become like wool? If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land, but if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

This is not an intellectual debate—it is an invitation to examine our hearts, our wounds, our failures, and our inability to save ourselves. It is a call to return, to be still, and to know that He is God.

Today, we explore what it means to know Christ, to know the Father, and to know who we truly are through a genuine spiritual awakening.

Set the Sail – Faith Rests Upon God’s Character

The destiny of one’s recovery is shaped by the idea of God a person carries. Traditional recovery thought teaches that newcomers enter a spiritual program where they are free to identify God “as they understand Him.” For some, this means the fellowship itself becomes a Higher Power; for others, it means any concept of a power greater than themselves.

Over time, a peculiar phrase emerged in recovery culture: “Your Higher Power can be anything — even a doorknob.” It is repeated so often that many assume it comes from the Big Book or the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

It does not.

Neither text suggests that an inanimate object can restore sanity, guide moral change, or receive a surrendered will. The “doorknob god” appears nowhere in AA’s foundational literature.

Anchor verse – Psalm 9:10: “Those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

The idea actually surfaced in the treatment centers of the 1970s and 1980s. As addiction treatment became professionalized — especially in secular or state‑funded programs — counselors avoided religious language to prevent the appearance of imposing faith on clients. To lower resistance, some staff used exaggerated examples: “Even a doorknob can be your Higher Power if it helps you get started.”

It was never meant to be literal. It was a strategy to reduce defensiveness.

But like many exaggerated teaching tools, it escaped its context. It became folklore. It became satire. Critics of 12‑step spirituality used it to mock the idea of a non‑religious Higher Power. Newcomers repeated it without understanding its origin. And eventually, it became a kind of shorthand for the early, clumsy attempts to describe surrender without demanding theology.

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We Must Test the Spirits of Recovery and Sobriety

When recovery meets revelation, discernment becomes a moment of thriving in sobriety. We test substances for purity — why not spirits? The same vigilance that guards sobriety must guard faith. The relapse of the soul begins when we stop testing what we trust.

We find ourselves in a time when the mantra of “to thine own self be true” echoes throughout recovery circles, highlighting a growing trend that prioritizes subjective authenticity over absolute truths. This modern movement in recovery and sobriety often veers away from the profound spiritual truths embedded in Scripture and the Christian faith, diluting the very essence of what it means to be truly free.

In this era of counterfeit light, our culture is awash with spiritual noise—false prophets promising quick fixes, hollow promises of peace, and fleeting joys that inevitably fade. Many are turning to a version of recovery that embraces personal desire and subjective experience over divine guidance and genuine transformation.

Yet, Christ calls us to something deeper. He invites us not into cynicism or despair but into a clear and sober understanding of our identity in Him. True sobriety is not merely the absence of substances; it is the presence of a spirit anchored in truth. It is about discerning the lies that this world offers and embracing the flawless truth of God’s Word.

As we embark on this journey of genuine recovery, let us challenge the shallow waters of modern self-discovery and dive into the depths of spiritual sobriety. Surrendering to Christ means shedding the noise of empty promises and embracing the clarity that comes from knowing Him. True recovery is about reclaiming our lives from distraction, grounding ourselves in faith, and walking in the light of His truth.

In a world saturated with uncertainty, let us hold fast to the enduring hope found in Christ, where true transformation begins and lasting sobriety thrives. Are you ready to embrace a recovery journey that leads to true freedom?

Anchor Verse:Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God; for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” – 1 John 4:1, NRSVUE

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“I Believe in the Communion of Saints”

In our personal recovery journey, there needs to be a moment of clarity when one realizes they were never meant to heal alone. Isolation may have helped each one of us survive, but it is within communion and fellowship that we truly learn to thrive. A.W. Tozer poignantly expressed this truth, stating, “Men are made for each other, and this is never more apparent than in the church.” In today’s culture and society, fractures within families, persistent codependent patterns, cycles of addiction and relapse, as well as faith crises, continue to plague many. Yet, amid this turmoil, God offers something completely different: a spiritual home where wounded people can become whole.

The common narrative suggests, “the Gospel is true and perfect – but the people are not.” However, this perspective can lead individuals to believe that they do not need a community or fellowship. If one clings to this misleading notion, they are walking in deception and obeying the lies of the adversary. The truth is that our Heavenly Father fervently calls us into fellowship with one another, urging us to form a united front in our faith, all to fulfill the law of Christ as articulated in Galatians 6:2, which encourages us to bear one another’s burdens.

Anchor verse – Acts 2:42 (NRSVUE): They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.

Today’s devotional delves into and explores A.W. Tozer’s conviction that the Church, as Christ’s redeemed community, stands as the most significant body on Earth. For those in recovery, the communion of saints is not a luxury; it is a prerequisite for true spiritual growth and discipleship. We grow best, heal deepest, and thrive most fully when we engage with others who, like us, are being transformed by grace. This message seeks to unpack Tozer’s profound insights, apply them to the realm of recovery, and offer a practical acrostic—S.A.I.N.T.S.—to help individuals embody the communion that God has designed for us.

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Powerless Over the Storm — Not Powerless Over the Sail

Ever have one of those moments where clarity doesn’t arrive with fireworks, but with a quiet, unmistakable shift inside your chest—a soft Aha, a gentle epiphany that feels less like a thought and more like a whisper settling into your spirit? That happened to me as I was preparing for today’s devotional message. I was sitting with A. W. Tozer’s The Set of the Sail, revisiting the opening chapter, when something in those pages caught me off guard. And then it hit me—clean, sharp, and humbling. How have I missed what the Third Step may truly be inviting us into?

For anyone unfamiliar, the Third Step in recovery says that we “made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” On the surface, it sounds simple enough—surrender your will, your autonomy, your desires. Let God take the helm. But beneath that simplicity lies the raw truth that brought many of us to recovery in the first place: we finally saw how far we had drifted, how powerless we had become, how our lives had unraveled into chaos, disorder, and ruin. And in that unraveling, we recognized our need for a power greater than ourselves to intervene.

But here’s the part we rarely talk about. That moment of surrender doesn’t usually feel holy. It doesn’t feel triumphant. It feels like waking up from a long, heavy fog—numb, disoriented, spiritually exhausted. Faith feels distant. Purpose feels fractured. And somewhere in the stillness of that inner ache, a question rises: Am I drifting? And the honest answer is yes. We have drifted. And that truth cuts through the noise of our anxious, chaotic thoughts with a clarity we can’t ignore. Because in that moment, we’re no longer moved by emotion—we’re moved by a deliberate, trembling desire to choose something different.

Tozer writes that the direction of a life is not determined by the strength of the wind, but by the set of the will. He echoes Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s line: “It is the set of the sails and not the gales which tells us the way to go.” That line stopped me. Because if we’re honest—with ourselves and with our Heavenly Father—when we’re standing in the middle of doubt, fear, anxiety, or spiritual fatigue, this truth matters more than we realize.

It matters because the confrontation of the Third Step is not merely about surrender. It is about resetting the sails of our recovery, our faith, and our lives. It is about choosing—sometimes with trembling hands—to turn the bow of our soul back toward the One who has been waiting to guide us all along.

Anchor Verse: “Now if you are unwilling to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served in the region beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living, but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15, NRSVUE

I know—at first glance, this verse can feel like a cliché. It’s the kind of Scripture that ends up on wall art, coffee mugs, and Christian décor aisles. And for those who know the context, it might even raise a question: Why use Joshua 24:15 here? Why bring in a verse where Joshua is telling Israel to choose between the Lord and the gods of their ancestors or the gods of the Amorites?

But that’s exactly why I love this verse. Because Joshua isn’t simply telling Israel to “choose God.” He’s confronting them with a deeper truth: if you do not choose to serve the Lord, you will still serve something. You will serve the gods of your past, or the gods of the culture around you—but you will serve something.

And suddenly, the connection to the Third Step becomes painfully clear.

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Solidarity in Our Suffering

Every one of us knows what it feels like to wake up inside a prison we never saw ourselves enter. Not a prison of steel bars, but the kind built from fear, shame, distorted thinking, and the quiet suffering we carry alone. These are the prisons that don’t show up on a background check—but they shape our lives all the same.

And here’s the part we rarely admit to ourselves: most of the time, we don’t even realize we’re locked inside. We just feel the weight. The cycle. The hopelessness. Recovery calls this “your side of the street.” MRT calls it “recognizing your prison.” Scripture calls it remembering—remembering those in chains as though you were chained with them (Hebrews 13:3). Because the moment you recognize your own captivity is the moment you become capable of standing with someone else in theirs. Not with pity. Not with judgment. But with solidarity born from shared humanity and redeemed suffering.

I’ve lived in those invisible cells. I’ve counseled people trapped in them. And I’ve watched God use both literal and internal prisons to refine character, restore dignity, and reveal His mercy in ways comfort never could. So when I talk about suffering in solidarity, I’m not speaking as an observer—I’m speaking as someone who has been behind those walls and found Christ already waiting there. This devotional isn’t about theory. It’s about truth. It’s about recovery. It’s about the Gospel. And it’s about learning to see our own captivity clearly enough that we can walk beside others without superiority, without fear, and without pretending we’ve never been imprisoned ourselves.

What is the prison of your own suffering? For me, it was those moments where my life seemed to come undone – the rug pulled right out from underneath me. Locked in my own irrational thought process, false beliefs, and not understanding the reason I seemed to constantly be in this never-ending cycle of always finding myself in a place of brokenness, suffering, and hopelessness. There are moments in many individuals lives where they are in some form of a prison. And this prison may be a literal prison, or it may be a product of one’s circumstances. Whether this is a place of financial debt, broken relationship, physical limitations, disability, or injury, or any other constraining circumstance. 

Yet, the single most travesty within our Christian faith communities and fellowship is when fellow saints perceive those who are in some form of prison and are suffering – see them with a biased assumption that God has not favored them. That, they have committed some form of sin, or are spiritual rebellion. To some extent, there are those who have this idea that Christians suffering in their own prisons are lacking faith in God. 

However, let’s consider the Apostle Paul: he probably experienced similar judgments and perceptions. Specifically, when we read his epistles that were written while he was in prison and suffering for the cause of the Gospel. Early saints of the way may have seen his trouble as a sign of God’s own disfavor and wondered how someone with so much potential had fallen to such lowly depths. 

Now, consider the reality of what I am wanting to share with you today. Prisons today different from person to person – and are full of God’s beloved sons and daughters. Despite this reality, He uses these prison moments in profound and mighty ways. We see how he used Paul’s suffering and prison moments, Joseph of Egypt, John the Baptist, John the beloved disciple, and numerous other men within scripture. Most of these men were used by God in powerful ways and they have experienced imprisonment, captivity, or depth of loneliness and despair – and our Heavenly Father, in His tender mercies, used those moments. 

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Pressing Forward with Steadfast Faith

There comes a moment in every believer’s life—and in every person walking out recovery—when God says something that feels almost unreasonable: “Go forward.” This divine command often arrives not when the sea has parted, not when the fear has settled, and certainly not when you feel your strongest. Instead, it comes at a time when we might feel the most vulnerable, beckoning us to take that leap of faith—forward… right now. This call exposes our innermost beliefs. It reveals whether we trust the God who speaks or if we allow the circumstances around us to intimidate and paralyze us.

Charles Spurgeon once articulated that vigorous faith often laughs at impossibility—and this idea is rooted in the assurance that the matter has been settled in prayer. When we commit our burdens to God, there’s a shift. Our faith rises; it stands up, wipes its eyes, and begins to walk toward what has previously seemed terrifying. Scripture reinforces this call to action with compelling encouragement: press toward the mark (Philippians 3:14), run with patience (Hebrews 12:1), be not weary in well doing (Galatians 6:9), resist steadfast in the faith (1 Peter 5:9), continue instant in prayer (Romans 12:12), and press forward with a steadfastness in Christ (2 Nephi 31:20). The pattern here is unmistakable—moving forward is the posture of those who genuinely trust God.

“Brethren, a vigorous faith will often shut its eyes to difficulties. When faith looks upon a difficulty as being exceedingly great, then she turns to prayer; but, on the other hand, after having sought God’s help, and having received it, she frequently laughs at the impossibility, and cries, “It shall be done;” and then, instead of betaking herself any longer to her knees, she boldly marches on, believing that the difficulty will vanish before her, that the crooked will be made straight, and the rough places plain. We are not to be always praying over a difficulty; when we have fairly committed it to God, we are to act upon the assurance that he has heard us; nor will such an action be the fruit of rashness, for it is a solid and substantial fact, that prayer does avail with God. Beloved, it strikes me that the advice which the Lord gave to Moses, was such as he has given to the preacher to-night; and that the message which Moses delivered to the children of Israel, is a very fit one for me to deliver to you. Short, prompt, soldier-like, here is the whole of it: “Forward! forward!” If you have been sitting down or tempted to go back— “Forward!” We have long been praying, let us to-night “Go forward.” The one subject we shall take up and try to deliver to different classes of character, is, “Thus saith the Lord, ye children of Israel, Forward!” (Charles H. Spurgeon, October 18, 1863;  “Forward! Forward! Forward!” Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit Volume 10)

Reflecting on the Israelites at the Red Sea, it’s clear that their moment of decision wasn’t about their strength—their circumstances appeared utterly impossible. It was about recognizing God’s unwavering faithfulness. The command to move forward was not only a call to action but an affirmation that God was already working in their favor. When God says “Forward,” He is not pushing you into peril; rather, He is leading you into deliverance and growth. This same God who parted the waters for Moses, who fortified Paul during his trials, who steadied Peter in the storms, and who sustained the early saints through persecution is the same God who walks with you right now. You can trust Him. You can move beyond your fears and doubts. You can take that step forward, knowing that He is leading you into a brighter and more fulfilling future. Your journey may be filled with uncertainty, but remember, every step taken in faith is a step walked in the light of His promises. You can go forward.

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Episode 8: From Hiding to Healing – The God Who Calls Us Out of Shame (Genesis 3:8–10)

There comes a moment in every person’s journey—especially in recovery—when the sound of God’s presence stirs something deep within us. We feel the pull to step out from hiding, yet the weight of shame, fear, and regret urges us to remain in the shadows. But the God who seeks us is not hunting us down to condemn us; He is calling us back to life. This devotional invites you to walk out of the trees and into His restoring light.

Introduction

“Hello and welcome, fellow travelers, to Sacred Sobriety: A Path for the Soul.” Today we continue our journey through the Discipline of Deliverance by returning to one of Scripture’s most haunting and hopeful moments—when God walked into the garden calling for His children. In recovery, we know this moment well: the tension between hiding and healing, between fear and freedom. Let us listen again to the God who still calls our name.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, we come before You with open hands and trembling hearts. Teach us to hear Your voice without running from it. Strip away the fear that keeps us hidden and clothe us with Your mercy, Your truth, and Your restoring love. Breathe courage into our souls as we step into Your presence. Amen.

Anchor Verse — Genesis 3:8–10 (NASB 2020)

“They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, ‘Where are you?’ He said, ‘I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.’”

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What to Look Forward to in Come Follow Me – Old Testament 2026

I have a question for you – are you ready to experience the Old Testament like never before? 2026 brings us into the study of the Old Testament for Come Follow Me. Be sure to access this resource by clicking the link here – Come Follow Me – Old Testament. This is not your ordinary reading plan – it is a covenantal journey that blends scripture, recovery, and discipleship into a transformative path of resilient faith. Whether you are seeking to deepen and enrich your faith, understanding of the Old Testament, daily devotional, or a framework to thrive in recovery and sobriety – this year will offer a unique resource and opportunity designed to meet you were you are and guide you forward.

Here is what you may look forward to:

  • Weekly Expository Teachings: Study, examine, and apply covenant themes and recovery parallels with clear scripture -anchored expository commentary and teaching. Each message balances faith and reason, showing how the Old Testament speaks spiritually and intellectually to each one of us.
  • Daily Devotionals: Structured readings harmonized with the Beatitudes and traditional twelve steps where it offers insight and empowerment for individuals to make personal and spiritual applications while walking a path of recovery and sobriety through discipleship.
  • Come Follow Me Livestream Panel Discussion: There is a group of Latter-day Saint content creators who get together and have livestream panel discussions weekly. We meet and livestream every Sunday, 8 PM PST/9 PM MST. This is livestreamed to multiple channels and platforms. You can watch on my social media platforms on YouTube, Facebook, and X. Or watch here on WordPress when it is posted.

Watch the Livestream CFM Discussion on the Family Proclamation Sunday, December 21, 2025 – 8 PM PST/ 9 PM PST. If you are interested in joining the livestream chat and interact with other viewers, ask the panelist questions then click through to watch on YouTube.

Anchoring in scripture, offering support, and empowering growth in recovery and sobriety – these resources encourage each person to experience the mysteries of God and understand His tender mercies in their own life.

Download the Google Doc with this link