Learning to Love Myself Through God’s Eyes

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Learning to love myself was the first mountain I ever had to climb in recovery. Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength—and the second is like it: to love our neighbor as ourselves. I thought I loved God. I thought I loved others. But I had never learned how to love me. And when I finally faced that truth, I realized I didn’t just “not love myself”—I despised myself.

When I was drunk and alone, I’d curse myself. I’d repeat the harsh words spoken over me by others—especially family. Emotional abuse, degradation, bullying, name‑calling… all of it became the internal script I lived by. I believed I was worthless, stupid, manipulative, selfish, unlovable. And because I believed it, I lived it.

So I kept God at arm’s length. I kept people at arm’s length. I feared abandonment, rejection, and judgment. I feared giving God my whole heart because I assumed He would eventually reject me too. Shame became the lens through which I saw myself, others, and God.

But recovery forced me to confront the lies. It forced me to ask: Who does God say I am? And in that painful, holy unraveling, I began to learn to love God with what little I had. I began to see myself through His eyes. And only then could I begin to love others with sincerity, depth, and courage.

Anchor verse – Hebrews 1:3 – “He is the reflection of God’s glory and the exact imprint of God’s very being, and he sustains all things by his powerful word. When he had made purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high.”

Christ is the exact imprint of God’s being—and through Him, we learn who God is, who we are, and how deeply we are loved.

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Set the Sail of Recovery and Sobriety: “If Any Would Follow…”

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I do not recall the specific moment in my own recovery journey when Jesus placed a crossroad before. For one, I have had multiple crossroads placed before. And I am sure many of you have had those same crossroads placed in your own life and path. These crossroads were not placed with thunder, not spectacle, because they were often placed with a quiet, piercing invitation. At times, and for me, came by way of conviction that brought me to the knees of humility because of an entitled selfish attitude. Other times came in moments of comfort and spiritual direction when someone took the time to obey without delay the promptings of the Holy Spirit. And still other moments where it is the quiet witness of confirmation, and then further confirmed by another’s message and teaching.

That tiny word if holds the weight of your destiny as well as my own destiny. it is the hinge between us surviving and thriving, between bondage and freedom, between the life we’ve known and the life Christ longs to give us – you know, that abundant life where there are peace and joy in Him? An abundant life where we come to rest in Him.

Today, we are stepping right into this profound, simple, and quiet invitation with courage, clarity, and a sound mindset that is honest. Stepping into understanding how the cross becomes transformative in our path, in our lives, and in our relationships.

Anchor Verse — Matthew 16:23–26 (cf. Luke 9:23–26, NRSVUE): “Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any wish to come after me, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life?“

Welcome back, fellow travelers, to Sacred Sobriety: A Path for the Soul. We are continuing our series Set the Sail for Recovery and Sobriety. Today we’re walking with Jesus into one of the most demanding—and liberating—teachings He ever gave. Matthew 16:23–26 and Luke 9:23–26 confront us with the truth that discipleship is not an accessory to life; it is the surrender of life. And yet, in that surrender, we discover the abundant life we’ve been aching for. As Tozer writes in Salvation Walks the Earth, “Every man holds his future in his hand… destiny waits on the nod of his head.” Today, we nod toward Christ.

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From Rockpiles to Cathedrals

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I never realized how many various rock-piles I’ve carried with me. And I also realized I was not alone because every one of us carries rock-piles – a place in our lives that feels heavy, unfinished, unlovely, or overwhelming. In the throes of our addiction, codependency, fear, shame – a relationship may feel stuck. A past feels immovable. A future feels uncertain.

However, scripture insists that God sees more in us than the rubble we carry. He sees the cathedral hidden inside the stones.

Anchor verse – Isaiah 61:3: “…to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of faint spirit. They will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, to display his glory.”

God does not merely remove the ashes – He transforms them. He does not simply clear the rubble – He builds something enduring, beautiful, and strong.

Welcome back fellow travelers. As we continue our journey through sacred sobriety, we pause today to consider the quiet miracle of imagination – holy imagination. The ability to see what God sees. The courage to believe that the rubble of our lives is not the end of our story.

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Set the Sail – Faith Rests Upon God’s Character

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The destiny of one’s recovery is shaped by the idea of God a person carries. Traditional recovery thought teaches that newcomers enter a spiritual program where they are free to identify God “as they understand Him.” For some, this means the fellowship itself becomes a Higher Power; for others, it means any concept of a power greater than themselves.

Over time, a peculiar phrase emerged in recovery culture: “Your Higher Power can be anything — even a doorknob.” It is repeated so often that many assume it comes from the Big Book or the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

It does not.

Neither text suggests that an inanimate object can restore sanity, guide moral change, or receive a surrendered will. The “doorknob god” appears nowhere in AA’s foundational literature.

Anchor verse – Psalm 9:10: “Those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.

The idea actually surfaced in the treatment centers of the 1970s and 1980s. As addiction treatment became professionalized — especially in secular or state‑funded programs — counselors avoided religious language to prevent the appearance of imposing faith on clients. To lower resistance, some staff used exaggerated examples: “Even a doorknob can be your Higher Power if it helps you get started.”

It was never meant to be literal. It was a strategy to reduce defensiveness.

But like many exaggerated teaching tools, it escaped its context. It became folklore. It became satire. Critics of 12‑step spirituality used it to mock the idea of a non‑religious Higher Power. Newcomers repeated it without understanding its origin. And eventually, it became a kind of shorthand for the early, clumsy attempts to describe surrender without demanding theology.

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When Confession Breaks the Illusion: Walking in the Light of Real Recovery

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William James once wrote: “For him who confesses, shams are over and realities have begun; he has exteriorized his rottenness.”

Confession ends the exhausting work of pretending. It pulls what is hidden into the light—not to shame us, but to free us. In recovery, confession is not a one‑time event; it is a rhythm, a posture, a way of walking honestly before God and others. It invites us to step into authenticity, shedding the masks we often wear and revealing the true selves beneath.

When we consider the act of confession, it is crucial to understand that it goes far beyond simply admitting wrongdoings. It encompasses acknowledging our vulnerabilities, our fears, and our shortcomings. It is about facing the parts of ourselves that we might prefer to keep hidden or buried deep within. Confession invites us into a space of liberation, where we can experience the healing power of honesty, not just with ourselves, but with those around us.

Anchor verse – 1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

This divine reassurance underscores the importance of confession in our lives. This is never a one-and-done moment. Confessing our sins is an active part of our path and spiritual growth. There is a continuous invitation to engage in this practice, to reflect regularly on our actions and attitudes, and to communicate them with sincerity. The act of confession can take various forms: it might be through prayer, journaling, or discussions with trusted friends and mentors.

There is also a communal aspect to confession; it’s about allowing others to bear witness to our journey of growth. This sharing fosters deeper connections, trust, and support within our communities. Confession can also serve as a catalyst for accountability, encouraging us to maintain our commitments to growth and change.

And there is more to confessing than we may fully understand. What are some of the ways we may confess? And what does it refer to when it says to confess our sins? What exactly are we confessing? Most of us may answer that we are to confess any wrongdoing on our part. And that is definitely an aspect of confessing.

But it may also refer to confessing our failures, our doubts, and our feelings of inadequacy. It may involve voicing the pain we carry and the burdens we bear, creating an opportunity for healing. Confession is a profound act of vulnerability that invites grace and understanding into our lives, not only from God but also from those around us who may offer support and encouragement. Through confession, we can truly experience the freedom that comes with honesty, forgiveness, and a renewed sense of purpose on our spiritual journey.

Today – we are going to take a look at how confession is the very courage to stop pretending. To step out of the idea that we need to fake it till we make it. And to see how this all ties into a twelve-step recovery program for Christians walking a path of recovery, desiring to thrive in their sobriety.

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Yellow Journalism and the Rise of Social Media Gainsayers

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Yellow journalism once referred to the sensationalistic, lurid exaggerations of 19th‑century newspapers — the kind of “sensational chauvinism” that relied on distortion, outrage, and emotional manipulation to attract readers. The term itself emerged from the era of the Yellow Kid comic strip, whose popularity fueled a wave of sensational reporting and media manipulation. Today, the same spirit thrives, but its printing press is no longer ink and paper. It is the algorithm.

At its core, yellow journalism is not merely exaggeration, but an intricate perspective that is biased, zealous, and often militant in its distortion. This form of communication is driven by blind devotion to a cause, frequently accompanied by hostility toward opposing viewpoints. Historically, yellow journalism manifested in various forms such as political propaganda that aimed to shape public opinion by presenting information selectively or misleadingly. Social agitation often followed the sensational narratives promoted by journalists who prioritized flare over factual reporting, heightening tensions around contentious issues.

Furthermore, yellow journalism also found expression through religious polemics, where exaggerated claims and dramatic storytelling were employed to gain adherents or demonize rival beliefs. The fervor of the 19th century, characterized by the quest for readership, led to practices that set the tone for future media. In contemporary times, this distortion is propagated through digital platforms where algorithms curate content that reinforces existing beliefs, often leading to echo chambers.

As society moves deeper into the digital age, the implications of yellow journalism become more pervasive. Information can spread rapidly, while critical thinking and journalistic integrity may wane. The lessons of the past remind us that while sensationalism may attract attention, the long-term impact of such journalism can erode trust in media and polarize societies. It encourages a critical evaluation of news sources, urging consumers to discern truth amidst the cacophony of competing narratives. As such, the battle against yellow journalism is ongoing, requiring vigilance from both media producers and consumers alike to uphold the principles of responsible journalism.

Today, it thrives on social media

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WEEKLY RECAP: WALKING IN TRUTH — A Sacred Sobriety Reflection

Timothy R. Berman3 Comments

Our daily walk in recovery and thriving in sobriety provides a story. I love what the apostle Paul writes, “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by all, and you show that you are a letter of Christ, prepared by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets that are human hearts.” (2 Corinthians 3:2-3, NRSVUE). Our testimonies are living epistles. This is the reason I love what is said in the Celebrate Recovery rooms, ‘He took my mess and turned it into a message and took my test and turned it into a testimony.”

These stories are of struggle, of quiet faithfulness – and yet always a story of God’s sovereign and divine grace in our moments of weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). This past week, the devotional messages formed a single thread woven through four powerful themes.

  • Spiritual Discernment
  • Spiritual Direction
  • Mindful Prayer
  • Distinctiveness of a life transformed by Christ

Each one of these messages point us back to one central truth: Thriving in recovery and sobriety requires spiritual clarity, honest self-examination, and a heart anchored in Christ. And through the acrostics – we explored:

  • T.R.U.T.H
  • D.I.R.E.C.T.I.O.N
  • P.R.A.Y.E.R
  • H.O.L.Y

Hopefully you discovered a pathway that strengthens your heart, mind, and spirit; steadies the steps of anyone seeking lasting freedom.

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The True Saint in Recovery and Sobriety is Different

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There was no doubt in my mind that when I first desired to seek God – I did not want to allow Him full reign and residence in my heart. I only wanted Him when it was convenient. Never willing to fully surrender. After all, I had to do all that I was capable of doing and then seek Him to help pick up the slack where I was frustrated, needing rescue, or assistance.

There comes a moment in every recovery journey when you realize the life you’re stepping into cannot look like the life you’re leaving behind. Something in you knows—almost instinctively—that healing requires difference. Not perfection. Not performance. But a holy, courageous difference.

A.W. Tozer argues that the Church’s greatest influence comes not from blending in, but from standing apart: “Her power lies in her being different… and sinks as the difference diminishes.” In recovery, the same truth hits home: the more we resemble our old patterns, the more powerless we feel. The more we embrace the new life Christ offers, the more strength rises in us.

You don’t have to pretend you’re strong. You don’t have to manufacture holiness. You don’t have to force transformation. God is not asking you to be impressive—He’s asking you to be His. And belonging to Him will inevitably make you different. This is not merely a change in behavior or outward appearances; it’s a deep, spiritual metamorphosis that occurs within.

Anchor verse – Romans 12:2 — “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds…”

Tozer reminds us that the Church loses her witness when she tries to imitate the world. In a world where conformity is often encouraged, recovery teaches the same: compromise always costs more than it promises. Every time you choose to blend in instead of standing firm in your convictions, you jeopardize the unique calling God has placed on your life. But difference—holy difference—opens the door to freedom, clarity, and spiritual power. This holy difference not only sets you apart but also illuminates the path for others who might still be lost in their struggles.

As you navigate your recovery, remember that each step you take towards embracing your new identity in Christ is a victory. Recognize that transformation is a process, and each moment spent in genuine connection with God is a step forward. You are no longer defined by your past; rather, you are being reshaped into the person He has destined you to be.

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Pressing Into the Profit of Prayer

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Have you ever had someone challenge you regarding prayer? Maybe mock you for praying? Perchance you’ve had someone tell you that they no longer have faith in God because their prayers never were answered, and they questioned the existence of God.

The ancient skeptic in Job sneered, “What is the Almighty, that we should serve him? And what profit should we have if we pray to him?” (Job 21:15). Tozer notes that the tone was dripping with contempt, tossed aside “like Pilate, without waiting for a reply.” Yet Scripture and the lived testimony of the saints thunder back: there is profit in prayer—much every way.

Tozer writes, “An invitation to prayer is an invitation to omnipotence, for prayer engages the Omnipotent God and brings Him into our human affairs.” This statement is staggering and profound. It launches us into the reality that prayer transcends mere verbal expression; it allows us to interact with the divine authority of God Himself. Prayer is not a religious hobby; rather, it is the God-ordained means by which heaven bends low into human history. When we pray, we are not simply whispering into the void—we are summoning the God who parts seas, raises the dead, and renews the weary.

Perhaps the most compelling aspect of prayer is that it is not bound by the limitations of human understanding or experience. The act of prayer invites the supernatural into our mundane realities, connecting us with the Creator who desires to be intimately involved in our lives. How often do we overlook the opportunity to engage the infinite just because we cannot see immediate results? Tozer emphasizes this beautifully. “An invitation to prayer is an invitation to omnipotence, for prayer engages the Omnipotent God and brings Him into our human affairs.”

As Scripture reminds us, the anchor verse – Hebrews 11:6 — “Without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever would approach him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” In times of doubt and uncertainty, this verse serves as a crucial reminder of the foundational belief that our faith ignites our relationship with God—the very essence that fuels our prayers and hopes.

In a world that still echoes Job’s question, we stand firm on the testimony of the ages. Tozer reminds us that “God Himself has supplied the answer, and the universal consensus of the ages has added an Amen.” The saints testify across time: prayer works because God works. Prayer profits because God is present. Prayer transforms because God responds.

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Facing Both Ways: When Christian Recovery Loses Its Direction and the Soul Begins to Drift

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I have found moments in my own recovery journey, faith, and life when I realized I have been living divided. One part of my heart longs for God, healing, peace, and truth. Yet, another part wanted to reach back toward toxic patterns, unhealthy attachments, worldly validation, and spiritual compromise. And I found that I am not alone – many people today are exhausted, not because they do not love Christ, because they are attempting to face two different directions at once. This is the spiritual condition A.W. Tozer exposed quite powerfully within Chapter Seven of his work The Set of the Sail. The chapter is titled, Facing Both Ways. Tozer observed a Christianity that spoke Christian lingo while slowly adopting worldly values. He warned of a divided orientation – a soul that attempted to follow God while remaining emotionally attached to the systems that once kept the person in bondage.

For many of us fellow travelers, walking through recovery from addiction, codependency, family dysfunction, spiritual abuse, or faith crisis, this tension feels painfully familiar. Each of us desires freedom, yet sometimes we mourn the chains left behind. We seek Christ, yet fear surrendering our life and will over to His care. We pray for healing yet continue to entertain voices that have wounded us.

However, the Gospel never calls us to a divided direction. Christ invites us into His rest with a wholehearted orientation.

Anchor Verse – Psalm 16:8 (NRSVUE): “I have set the Lord before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.”

A divided heart creates instability. Scripture teaches that “the double-minded are unstable in every way” (James 1:8, NRSVUE). Recovery becomes quite fragile when our own direction is unclear. Faith becomes shallow when we attempt to seek both the approval of God and the acceptance of unhealthy systems that tend to distract and lead us away from Him.

Today, let’s take a moment to reflect on how Tozer diagnosed modern Christianity with what he called dual orientation. Theology that faces God, yet desires continue facing the world. The result is spiritual confusion, emotional exhaustion, compromised conviction, and diluted discipleship.

Let’s face it: many Christians on a path of recovery understand this quite deeply and personally. Addiction itself is often rooted in divided affection – wanting peace while feeding into the chaos. Desiring intimacy while hiding in the darkness of dysfunction. Wanting God yet remaining emotionally tethered to destructive patterns.

Christ does not merely improve our attitude and behavior – He reorients the entire person. Are you ready for a spiritual reorientation of the heart, mind, and spirit today?

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